You're probably wondering why I invited you. I like to speak to a Dutch person and I want to share my story. Is that OK?

Yes, of course.  I'm all ears. Is it OK if I turn on the dictaphone on my IPhone?

Fine. Let's start at the beginning then.

 

My father was a rich, say very rich Spaniard and owned a lot of land.

My mother was Dutch. Not exactly unmediated either. They are both deceased. I was an only child and inherited everything. Sold a lot of land and that made me even richer, a pity about those taxes.

So I must be pretty spoiled. Didn't even notice this myself. Found everything normal. Taken to and from school with a Rolls! Go figure. That's why he was bullied at school. And then also that strange name in a country where the boys are usually called Juan, Pablo or Antonio.

 

What also stays with me from that time is the dreams I had. Anxiety dreams. They came back every night. I was floating somewhere in infinite space. Not in our solar system, not in our galaxy, but in infinite interstellar space. Although at the time I didn't know what that was at all. Woke up and in fear went to my parent's bedroom looking for some kind of protection. But I was never allowed  come to them to be comforted. No, go back to your bed. You didn't have to pretend. For a long time I kept those miserable dreams. Not knowing that space and infinity would later play an important role in my life. More on this later.

 

I was a very docile little boy. I adored my father. Believed everything he said, like most little boys up to a certain age. I read a lot at that time. We had a very large library and if the book I was looking for wasn't there, I just ordered it. At one point I had a small book, but with a big impact. The booklet actually only consisted of pictures.  It was a little boy just like me, sitting in the sun. The next picture was his arm with an insect on it. Then the images zoomed in on the insect. Further and further. Molecule, atom, nucleus, proton, quark. You can't really go any further.

 

The same thing happened outwardly. So you saw the arm again, then the garden, Spain, the earth, the solar system, the galaxy, the galaxy with other systems, etc., etc. I then came to the thought through that little book that space moves in and out. was infinite. Still, I had a lot of trouble understanding  o n e i n d i g h e i d. Suppose the universe is finite, what is there at the end of it. Are we in some kind of bubble? And what is behind that bubble? I did not know.

Or that infinity inside? Space becomes infinitely small, but never zero.

The result of all that worrying was that I completely rejected belief in a God. What a horrible nonsense. Would there be a God among all those billions of stars and planets in that infinite space who especially had the earth in mind to create man there. Give this man brains and then believe in thousands of different religions?

This to the horror of my mother who was very religious. I can remember a conversation with her in which she expressed her fear that she would go to heaven and I would go to hell. And she wanted to avoid that. So Isambard, believe in God!

Yes, which one, the Catholic, the Protestant, the Islamic or I don't know which god exactly. There are so many. This was some kind of order. I was about 15 years old and thought this was ridiculous even then. How can you believe in something so nonsensical? How can you force belief in something. You either believe in something or you don't.

Anyway, I started to behave more and more like a real teenager. My parents didn't like this and I was sent to a Catholic boarding school. My mother hoped for conversion. The opposite happened. This to the despair of a number of priests, to my great pleasure I have been removed from that school. My mother just gave up.

 

Then through that little book I came to the idea that space was infinite inwardly and outwardly.

 

After many wanderings, I started studying physics and astronomy in the Netherlands and Spain. Passed Cum Laude for both directions.